My Wild Ride Through Cyberpunk 2077's Craziest Bike Mods

Ripping through Night City on four wheels always felt... corporate. Like I was just another suit in a Delamain cab, y'know? But bikes? Oh man, they're the rebellious heartbeat of this neon jungle! Yet here's the kicker – CD Projekt Red gave us more rides than a used-car dealership but only a handful of proper motorcycles. Talk about unfair! So I dove headfirst into modding, and holy chrome-plated chaos, did I strike gold. Let me take you on a tour of the mods that turned my dystopian commute into a laugh-out-loud joyride.

🥪 That Hotdog Bike: Pure Midnight Madness

MisterChedda’s masterpiece made me snort synth-coffee out my nose. Imagine this: you’re weaving through Heywood gangs, all tense and edgy, then bam – you’re straddling a glowing sausage with donut tires. This absurdist hotrod doesn’t just break immersion; it dropkicks it into the Pacific. And the best part? Locals react like it’s Tuesday. One corpo even muttered, "Overpriced street meat" as I revved my relish-rocket. Absolute poetry!

⚡ BMW S1000RR: German Engineering Meets Grit

Swapping to aalexbug’s BMW S1000RR felt like upgrading from chopsticks to a monowire. This beast purrs like a happy cyborg cat – smooth acceleration, razor-sharp turns, and enough horsepower to outrun MaxTac on a bad day. Cruising through Japantown at 2 AM, rain slicking the asphalt? Pure magic. I half-expected it to complain about my driving: "Mein Gott, must you brake so late?"

🦇 Batcycle: Gotham’s Reject Fits Right In

EzioMaverick’s Gotham Knights import had me cackling. Parked beside V’s apartment, this broody two-wheeler looked like it was judging every scavenger in Watson. But man, does it handle! Weaving through traffic felt like dancing – tight corners, instant acceleration, and enough angst to make Johnny Silverhand nod approvingly. It’s basically the Kusanagi’s edgier cousin who listens to industrial metal.

🎨 BMW R NineT: Customization Heaven

Synthetic Culture’s mod is LEGO for bike nerds. I spent hours tweaking everything: matte black paintjob? Done. Glowing purple underglow? Absolutely. Even the dashboard got a retro-80s makeover. Scanning it actually shows specs like "Torque: Yes" and "Soul: Questionable." Only downside? No engine sound swaps. My dream of a kazoo exhaust remains unfulfilled... for now.

🔴 Akira Bike: Anime Dreams Unleashed

Carbine Heroes’ tribute hit me right in the nostalgia cortex. Choosing the crimson variant, I drifted through Kabuki Market while blasting the film’s soundtrack. The handling’s butter-smooth – leans into curves like it’s flirting with gravity. Every gonk who recognized it flashed a thumbs-up. Felt less like playing a game and more like starring in my own sequel. Kaneda would’ve approved... probably.

✨ Edge Bike: Born for Night City

Methodd’s creation blends so seamlessly, I forgot it wasn’t vanilla. Angular, aggressive, and dripping with blue LEDs, it’s like the Kusanagi went to fashion school. Acceleration? Solid. Handling? Predictable. But the real win? Watching raytraced reflections skitter across its chassis during a midnight rainstorm. Pure eye candy – and no, I didn’t crash while gawking... much.

🚀 Three Bike Mod: Variety Pack Deluxe

Methodd’s triple-threat solved my biggest gripe: choice paralysis. Each ride nails the cyberpunk aesthetic – one’s all jagged angles, another’s sleek curves, the third looks like a stealth drone. Performance varies too; one corners like a dream, another accelerates like a startled cat. Having options stopped my garage from feeling like a showroom for one rich weirdo.

---

So after all these miles, I’m left wondering: in a city drowning in chrome and despair, why do modded bikes feel more alive than the scripted stories? Maybe it’s the absurdity of a hotdog chariot dodging cyberpsychos. Or perhaps customization lets us rebel against Night City’s rigid gloom. What’s your take? If you could weld any real-world object into a ride – a toaster? A grandfather clock? – what glorious abomination would you cruise in?